Fugitive Firefly

Running away with the last bit of hope

I wish the real world would just stop hassling me

My worst nightmare has come true - I am one of those lost college graduates wandering the streets, looking for employment. Looking for...more.

I never thought that I would be one of those people who didn't know what they wanted, who didn't have a plan. After all, I had always known what I wanted and had a plan to achieve to it. As time passed within the university's walls, I became less sure of my goals. Do I really want to go into research? And if so, what field? Trying to make such a decision had put me in a near panic. And then my advisor told me -

"Take a year off. Gain some experience. Grad schools prefer you to do this, anyway."

So that's what I'm doing - taking some time off. Maybe I'll be thankful for this advice later, but right now I hate it. About six weeks of being in the real world , I'm dying to be back in the classroom.

Job-hunting has got to be one of the most discouraging tasks ever. As much as I'd hate to have some crap job, it looks like that's what's going to happen. Because at this point it's all about survival. This, however, doesn't provide any comfort. If anything, I'm more afraid. What if grad schools don't approve of how I spent my time off? I highly doubt that my undergraduate career would impress them. So what then? Would I then do what I least desire and become a psychologist? Great. [No offense to any psychologists, of course. I just really don't want to counsel other people].

Yes I realize I may be overreacting, but can you blame me? My entire future rests on a giant IF. I think I have the right to overreact.

Now excuse me while I go back to the brutal job hunting.

I wonder what it's like to be the head honcho/I wonder what I'd do if they all did just what I said/I'd shout out an order, "I think we're out of this man, get me some." - Real World by Matchbox 20